FOLLOWING YOUR DEPARTURE FROM THE PHYSICAL

On nights like these I have only my wintry
fingers, broken cuticles, dried nubs chapped
from bleaching away tobacco stains.
Maybe they're happenstance's dingy
tomes, dry nibs that make scratching
sounds in the night as they move mechanically
across pages filled with poems. Still,
I am satisfied with this simple avodah.

I've heard the whispers already, observed
the awkward glances during Kaddish
since your recent plunge into the mystery
of silence. For years we watched you wobble
on the ledge of ecstasy - a flame leaping
from the wick, time and again pulled
back to this lower chamber. Forgive us
if your death was not a surprise.

We watched you steadily withdraw
from the palpitations of untidy rigors
and the mysterious strangers who for years
had been your verdant inspiration.
We witnessed the intensity of your prayers
and listened to the heated complaint
of a claustrophobic soul that counted the Omer
with a fire that engulfed each midot.

As for me: I am not yet finished with this husk.
Each day I rattle locked gaits with my tefilla
and refuse to turn back from iron doors. So what
if I receive only silence. There are hungry poets
who eat the challah of my table and depart
with the tzadaka of encouragement. For now
I am satisfied with this corporal shell,
though ink-smudged and gnawed upon by years.

§ § §

David Miller has been writing poetry for more than 30 years. His work has most recently appeared in the anthology, Poets Open Forum @ The Little Professor Book Company in Fort Wayne, Volume II (available through Little Professor Book Company) and in his chapbook, Scrapbook Memories published in 2000 by Harvest Art Press.

David was the founder of Harvest Art Productions which operated poetry related events in the Portland, Oregon area for several years, along with a tidy small press and e-zine harvest-art.com, (which is now owned and superbly operated by Mark Leair.) In 2001 David divested himself of his poetry work in Portland to return to school. Although he continues to pen verse in his spare time, he is currently a full-time student of Yeshiva Ohr HaGan in Portland, Oregon.

You can reach David at AkivaDavid@email.msn.com.

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